Slouching towards sweatpants-land
It's over.
“Freedom fighters never retire.” —Rosa Parks
Black History Month should be every month
If you haven’t read it already, I highly recommend Dr. Jeanne Theoharis’s New York Times opinion piece on the great Rosa Parks. And, though this is obvious, let’s celebrate Black excellence every day, month, year, not just in February.
Remember Trayvon Martin, who would have been 26 years old today. Read Black Lives Matter’s beautiful tribute of Martin here. Rest in power, young King.
The Trayvon Martin Foundation, created by Martin’s family, endeavors to “bring awareness to ending senseless gun violence.” May their work be supported by us all.
I’m tired, y’all.
You know it’s over when all of your online shopping revolves around one search: “sweatpants.” The old ones aren’t going to cut it. You don’t have enough, never enough. There’s a hole in your favorite pair. How do you not have black ones? Where did the tie-dye ones go? It’s over.
I put on jeans the other day to go to the grocery store and felt triumphant. As soon as I got home, I couldn’t get them off fast enough.
I’ve always taken pride in my appearance, at least when it comes to clothes. I love fashion, I dress according to my mood, and I like wearing weird stuff. I’m not really into trends, unless the trend cannot be denied: Mom jeans? Here for it!
I used to not own any sweatpants. I was a leggings-only kinda gal. Sweatpants were for slobs. Sweatpants were for camping, or when you’re sick. Sweatpants were not for any other activity, no excuses. Now? After 2020? They’re pretty much all I wear.
I know I’m not unique in this—and if you don’t own any, I commend you (and don’t really believe you)—but it is pretty miraculous when I look back at the care I used to put into my look every morning. How much of this care was for myself, and how much of it was for others?
The pandemic has illuminated so many things, one of them being how much I was focused on presenting a “perfect” image to the world. Not to mention how much of it was in relation to the male gaze. I am a hardcore feminist, and I’ve always dressed for myself, but truly, how much of it comes down to societal norms?
My “natural” makeup, my concern with not showing too much skin, my desire to look and feel attractive in my own way; I dictated a lot of these desires, but I’ve also got the patriarchy ingrained in me, as we all do.
If I was truly getting ready for the day with only myself and my desires in mind, then why did I stop dressing up when I started working from home? Without anyone to see my outfit, except for what could be seen within the confines of the Zoom square (we all know Zoom outfits are like mullets—business up top, party on the bottom), I stopped caring so much.
I’ve realized that within this nearly-year-long new spectrum of dressing, I have become a little depressed with the sweatpants-only uniform. My solution? Getting more (exciting, fresh, new!) sweatpants! There’s enough to be depressed about already.
I am not the kind of person who can wear the same thing everyday; I am an Aquarius, and I like variety. But sacrificing my comfort for fashion? That’s so not my jam. And spending all day sitting in jeans is just ridiculous, even if they are mom jeans.
So though I’ve swung very far to the other side of the fashion spectrum, I am now seeking a new in-between. Yes, it is unlikely that you will find me wearing makeup and “cute” outfits, but I will not be pulling on the same old pairs of sweats, either. I will mix it up in the sweats department! I just ordered a rose-colored pair (who needs rose-colored glasses when you can have rose-colored sweatpants?), and, even if it seems superfluous, on the top I’ve been mixing it up by wearing different—sometimes even “fancy”!—sweaters. Why? For me.
My beautiful thrift-store-score fuzzy striped sweater might seem a bit silly when paired with gray Target sweatpants, but I don’t care. Because I’m comfortable and I feel like I’m reclaiming, little by little, my lost sense of style.
And if I want to put on jeans just to go the grocery store (because where else would I be going these days? Sigh.), I’m going to do that, too! Yes, they’re coming off as soon as I get home, but it helps to break up the monotony of the everyday quarantine life, and it makes me happy. Plus it gives me an excuse to wear something from my bursting-at-the-seams closet. We can’t let good clothes go to waste, right?
If any of you have a pair of sweats you can’t live without, let me know! And please, tell me, is it crazy that I want a pair of cashmere sweats?
I also want to speak on this: I do my best to buy sustainably/ethically whenever possible, but have you all ever done a search for sustainable sweats? The prices are insane! $98 for a pair of sweatpants? Unless they’re cashmere (even then), I think that’s outrageous. I’m always trying to get all of my clothing from thrift stores (usually only possible when you don’t have a specific piece in mind) or ethical sources, but I’m not rich (yet). So until I am a Rich Lady, I have decided to go easy on myself and do what I can when I can. Those rose-colored sweats? They’re on the way to my house from Target. (I supposedly helped the planet, and I saved a dollar, by grouping my order into fewer shipments. Made me feel a little bit better.)
Things you can do & consume, all while wearing sweatpants:
Action: Support Girls Taking Up Space. I discovered this transformational Oakland-based nonprofit while looking online for ways to use my new yoga teacher certification beyond studio classes. Girls Taking Up Space, founded by Sakeenah El-Amin, is, in Sakeenah’s words: “a labor of love, for which there is no greater gift. It’s a chance for girls living on the margins of society to be brave, bold and unapologetic. I want our girls to speak loudly and confidently - take ownership of their learning, tell their own stories and use their resiliency to change the world.” The organization offers “holistic wellness programs for girls of color that empower girls to nurture their minds, bodies and spirits” with movement, meditation, and art. Oh, to be in middle school again, only so I could join! If you feel the same, please consider donating, and be sure to keep in touch with what the girls are up to on social media.
Follow: If you need more joy in your Instagram feed, look no further than Jenifer Lewis, the self-proclaimed (and rightly named) “Mother of Black Hollywood.” A sister Aquarian, Lewis inspires many a laugh-out-loud moment with her IG videos, where she’s singing and dancing like a 20-year-old at her vibrant age of 64. May I be half as flexible and talented as her in 30 years! I have yet to read her memoir; though I usually don’t listen to books on audio, I think I will make an exception for The Mother of Black Hollywood: A Memoir—Lewis narrates it!
Listen: “Heavenly Mother” by Pip Millett. I am confident that you will be hearing more about Millett in the very near future. She has a voice like butter and just sounds… cool. You know what I mean? Some people have it, and some people don’t. She has it. Her singing is effortless, the song makes me involuntarily head-bop at my desk, and I love these lyrics from the song:
“I’ve been growing faster,
You’ve been growing slow,
Get your act together or you risk losing it all.”
Preach! I think we’ve all been there at some point in our lives.
Move: Ok, I know I’ve already highlighted Australian badass Shona Vertue—don’t worry, I am actively working to subvert the YouTube algorithms to find more WOC-led fitness videos!—but she is just so good. I’ve done her Full body Vinyasa Yoga Session the past two mornings because it’s so perfect. 25 minutes and you’re good to go. One caveat: though the flow is perfect, the piano music the video features is a bit much for me, and was a puzzling choice in my opinion. If you’re really not into the piano, I would skip this one, but it’s been a sacrifice I’m willing to make to leave my mat feeling ready for the day!
Watch: Michelle Buteau: Welcome to Buteaupia. A stand-up special featuring the effervescent Michelle Buteau, who I predict is about to blow up. She’s usually cast in the best friend/other sidekick role, and yet she still steals the show in everything she’s in. There’s something special about her; she owns the room. That kind of star power just can’t be duplicated. I will warn you: her special, like most stand-up specials, is not for the faint of heart (there’s a bit about ginger *insert eggplant emoji here*) that I could have done without, but hey, I’m a prude! Enjoy. Laughter is seriously the best medicine.
Read: When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by BLM co-founder Patrisse Khan-Cullors & asha bandele. I remember reading this on a plane, heading somewhere for a work trip, and tears dripping down onto the pages. It’s that good. Bonus: I was recently taking some of the dust jackets off of my hardcover books (yes, I’ve fallen prey to “curating” my bookshelf, ugh!), and I found a beautiful, golden, embossed secret message on the book I would never have found otherwise. I won’t tell you what it says, in the hopes that you buy this important, gorgeous memoir and find out for yourself. “This remarkable book reveals what inspired Patrisse’s visionary and courageous activism and forces us to face the consequence of the choices our nation made when we criminalized a generation. This book is a must-read for all of us.” —Michelle Alexander, New York Times bestselling author of The New Jim Crow
In solidarity and comfort. See you next Friday!