“Choosing the dangerous thing is about making my life bigger by making myself go deeper.”—Tressie McMillan Cottom
✨Happy New Year! ✨
Wow, the end of 2023 was a doozy. After graduation, my wife and I headed to Jamaica to celebrate. Fun, right? Not so much. After two days of fun in the sun, my wife contracted dengue fever (she’s ok now!). Then, on the way home, our flight was delayed, then cancelled, and we had to spend the night in the Miami airport. This is probably where I caught COVID, which wiped out my sense of smell and taste for over a week.
Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. The celebration of accomplishment and a moment to rest tanked, a tragic comedy of errors, a seemingly endless parade of obstacles and illness. At this point, having made it to the other side, it’s pretty hilarious! I mean, how ridiculous!
Trying to catch some shuteye on the disgusting floor of the Miami airport, using my laundry bag as a pillow (maybe this was the COVID moment), all I could do was surrender. What other option did I have?
All this to say, I hope I got everything out of the way at the end of 2023 to clear the way for a banner 2024. We’ll see; in the meantime, I’ll keep trying to practice acceptance, and I will bring in the reinforcements of a thematic word and number to carry with me throughout the year. If you could use with some reinforcements, here’s how to find your word and number:
A Word
Artist and author Morgan Harper Nichols’s Word of the Year game on IG is one of my favorite ways to ring in the new year. Capture a screenshot from the fast-moving video montage of Nichols’s beautiful art, each slide featuring a word and its definition, to receive your word of the year. My word for 2024: “POSSIBILITY.” What did you get? Let me know in the comments!
A Number
The number “9” has been showing up consistently around me recently, so I took the hint and looked up the Numerology (woo-woo warning!) to find out its significance. I discovered that “The energy of the number 9 represents completion, but not finality. Think of it more in a cyclical sense; it’s about the ending of one cycle and the potential it creates for another cycle to begin. The 9 in Numerology acts as an usher in this process of transition or transformation, guiding and empowering us with its wisdom” (from numerology.com). Makes total sense as we move from the past year into a new one.
And there’s another number that’s here: it’s the three-year anniversary of The Find!
Three Years
Three years ago I started this newsletter, without a blueprint or a game plan, just a desire to explore what I felt needed exploring, and to share the work of marginalized creators. This desire has been my north star, to follow what moves me and to share what I find with you.
I wouldn’t describe this practice, this newsletter, as a “feel-good” endeavor, but I would describe it as a “feel-alive” one.
Don’t get me wrong, doing this does make me feel good, even when it’s hard; not necessarily good in the warm and fuzzy sense, but in an aspirational sense, a sense of forward movement. I don’t have any answers, but I do have a method of expressing what’s swirling around in my mind, from social justice to pop culture, and a practice of sharing what makes me, and hopefully you, feel more a part of this world.
This world isn’t necessarily something any of us want to be a part of these days, but I believe that when we seek out and share what delights us, what inspires us, we remind ourselves (and each other) that there is community to be found, that there are other people out there who are interested in getting free, that the world isn’t all pain and suffering. There is joy, too. Sometimes at the same time of the suffering!
As I said last year, when I sit down to write I always come away from the experience feeling more alive, even when I don’t feel like writing. I’m always excited when I receive a comment or an email from you, saying how you felt seen by an essay, or when you reach out to recommend a new show or album. Thank you.
Looking Back: Top Posts
2023 was a pain in the behind, for what felt like most days, but when I look back at last year’s editions of The Find, I’m reminded that it wasn’t all bad. I did a lot of contemplating, learning, exploring, grappling with ideas and assumptions. The kind of stuff that enriches the compost heap of creativity. I even had fun! Here are some highlights from last year:
The Top Posts of 2023, according to readers:
The Consensus - How can it be that the worldview of a few dictates the lived reality of the majority?
On Pride - I live in color now.
Imposter Syndrome - Are we deceiving others, or are we deceiving ourselves?
We’re In the Fight - We have always been here. And we’re not going anywhere.
The Pool - There’s something to be said for embedding yourself within the place you live, even if, or perhaps because, you feel like you don’t belong there.
Some of my personal favorites:
On Nightcrawling - We are more than our pain.
Barbie World - If we bestow a toy with humanity, what does that say about ourselves?
A Culture of Compassion - Compassion is collaborative.
The Perfection Project - We are not projects. We are people.
In addition to writing about these topics, I shared my favorite music, podcasts, movies, and books. In return, you shared your insights, feedback, and testimonials of support.
The Find reminds me to stay curious and open, even when, or especially when, the world feels increasingly scary and abhorrent. You and this community of readers encourages me to keep going—thank you.
Looking Ahead: A Survey
Three years since it began, the mission of The Find remains the same: to question the status quo, and to center and celebrate the work of minoritized creators, especially Black, Indigenous, and/or women of color.
And I couldn’t do it without you! Your feedback is instrumental in continuing forward with this newsletter; please share your thoughts in this year’s The Find Survey! It should take about 5-10 minutes to complete, and the first five respondents will be entered for the chance to win a The Find reusable water bottle!
This labor of love requires hours of research, writing, and curating. It brings me a lot of joy, and it also takes a great amount of time. If you value this newsletter and are in a position to support it, please consider a paid subscription. And if you aren’t—I get it, it’s hard out here!—, sharing the newsletter is also a much-appreciated way of supporting The Find.
Subscriber Perks
In addition to the biweekly essays and recommendations, paying subscribers receive access to:
The full post archive. Public posts go behind a paywall after six months—if you want to dig back into past editions of The Find, a paid subscription is a great way to do so!
Subscriber shoutouts. Send me something cool you’re doing and I’ll share it with the community!
No matter what you choose, I am so appreciative that you’re here. Thank you for your support! Now, onto the Friday finds!
The Friday Finds
Action. If you don’t have one yet, get a library card! Writer and advice columnist
of the hilarious and always-insightful newsletter predicts that library cards will be very hot in 2024: “2023 saw continued assaults on literature and on library budgets. Libraries are a vital public service providing havens for readers, wanderers, and misfits. Anyone who’s anyone will be getting a library card this year. It’s like carrying a green flag in your wallet. Be sure to accidentally flash it when picking up the bar tab on a first date.” I couldn’t agree more!Listen. “Keep Your Silver Shined” by Samantha Rise. Keep shining, stay ready, breathe deep.
Watch. Poor Things. Infuriating, visually stunning, gratuitous, inventive; a film that made my head spin. Emma Stone is Bella Baxter, a kind of female Frankenstein who stomps her way through life with unabashed appetite and irresistible candor. Stone is in her element here, expressing the full spectrum of human emotion, sometimes with just the widening of an eye or flick of a wrist. Director Yorgos Lanthimos is clearly inspired by Stone, lovingly caressing her form with the camera lens, yet I couldn’t help but think that the movie would have been better (and less gratuitous) in the hands of a woman director. Nonetheless, an absorbing exploration of female agency and a celebration of Emma Stone’s talent (if she doesn’t win the Oscar, I’ll be shocked).
Read. Hard Love by Ellen Wittlinger! When I discovered that author Wittlinger died in 2022, I resolved to re-read Hard Love, a YA novel that was one of my favorite books as a teen, something I read countless times and revisited whenever I needed to imagine a world beyond the one I existed in. I will admit that I was scared to read it now (it was published in 1999!), but was relieved when I slipped easily back into the authentically rendered world of teen angst, first love, and zines. An ode to creativity from a writer who explored queer teen lives well before it became a mainstream practice.
Thank you for being here. May 2024 be one for the books!
In solidarity,
Emma
Rooted: Like a flower you are learning to be rooted in the soil while simultaneously stretching upward toward the sky, unfolding in your bloom.